


The Talk

by Heliosthetroll



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abuse, Child Abuse, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Other, Past Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-05
Updated: 2018-06-05
Packaged: 2019-05-18 09:09:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14849924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heliosthetroll/pseuds/Heliosthetroll
Summary: Dave, John, and Karkat have a conversation about Bro Strider and it causes some (lots of) tears.





	The Talk

You had dreaded this day for a long time. Your two best friends turned lovers had finally had enough of you dodging the question every time they noticed and asked about a twitch or sudden reaction of yours to something. 

A door shutting with just enough sound to reach your ears making your head snap to the side, a surprise hug from behind causing you to spin around at top speed with a wild look behind your shades and hands clenching around a weapon you no longer carry around at all times out of necessity, the way your hand twitches sometimes if you don’t have something to squeeze, your continued panic over your eyes despite them assuring you they were wonderful as well as your worry over your cool kid facade, and mostly the scars they saw every time they managed to see you without your shirt for whatever reason. 

It was getting tiring to continue to dodge them anyway but still you were terrified to talk about why you did all the things you did. 

It had been terrifying to talk about it with your half-sisters Rose and Roxy and then you’d had Dirk and Hal by your side. Technically Hal was always just a message away no matter what and you know Dirk would be here for you in a millisecond if you asked no matter how far into a jungle in the middle of nowhere he was with Jake but asking them to assist you felt wrong somehow. Like you were admitting Bro still had control over you. 

He didn’t.

You were free.

Had been for two years now. 

But still you were scared out of your skin as John and Karkat forced you to sit down on the couch, Karkat glaring at you in that way you can tell means that he’s annoyed yes but mostly he’s worried about you and cares about what’s going on and John shows his worry clearly just like he always has all his emotions unlike you and Karkat. 

“Dave you fuckwit you need to fucking tell us what’s up already.” Karkat is making an attempt to be quiet and comforting and it’s touching. He’s trying his darndest not to startle or scare you as if you were an animal. It’s actually kinda cute. 

Still you can’t help but make your normal deflect. Even if you know this time it won’t work. “I don’t know what you’re talking about Karkles.”

His eyes narrow and you can tell he’d be glaring if John hadn’t placed his hand on his shoulder in that moment to help keep him calm. Jesus these two were serious this time weren’t they? Ok then. 

“Come on Dave please? We just want to help you”. John pleads with you, eyes round and cute as hell.

You can’t help but feel ashamed for hiding this from them. John is right. They only want to help you. You know that. They’d never hurt you. Never. You don’t even know what exactly you’re scared of. You just know that you’re terrified to your core of telling them the truth about Bro. About the brother you used to tell John was the absolute best before Rose helped you get past what he had drilled into you and see that he was a shitty brother and worse guardian. The Bro you never really spoke about Bro too because you met him after that revelvation but who heard plenty from John. 

You must visibly shrink a little despite your best efforts because Karkat softens a little and John’s gaze becomes more worried than pleading once more. Damn. All this time being able to show them your emotions more openly without fear has made you lose your touch. 

“Dave we want to help you idiot. We trust you and we want you to trust us.” Oh Karkat. Master of the subconscious guilt trips. One look at his worried face makes you feel incredibly bad for hiding this from them for so long and for trying to keep it hidden even now. Much less his words. Karkat doesn’t show his worry often just like you, his mask being one of exaggerated eternal rage rather than indifference like yours. Sure he is usually mad about one thing or another but oftentimes he uses his anger to hide other emotions as well. But yet here he is openly expressing his worry over you. No anger on his face. Not a drop.

The words are on the tip of your tongue and you feel the urge to tell them but you just can’t. It won’t come out. Your mind won’t let it come out. 

You tilt your head down in shame and Karkat instantly shushes you, reaching to hold your face gently and plant a few smooches around it while John fits himself to your body with a hug. A tight Egbert hug that makes you feel so warm. So happy. So loved. These are some of the things you love the most about your boyfriends. Their ability to comfort you through everything. Karkat had always been able to read you better than most even if he wasn’t as good as anyone from your family and probably never would be he still did really well and always made an effort to accommodate your feelings. John had always been oblivious to your true feelings on things when you hid them since day one but when you did show true emotion he helped you and with him it was always easier to be true to yourself and how you felt and with him it was rare that you ever felt down in the first place. 

You can’t help it.

You can’t hold it back. 

It’s all too much.

You tear up and before you know it you’re crying.

Karkat kisses away your tears and continues shushing you gently while John hugs you tighter and you cry. You break down and sob like you never have before. You’re shaking in their grasps with tears streaming down from behind your shades as your body attempts to curl in on itself. They hold you and they comfort you and they make everything feel better but they don’t rush you through the process. This is the one thing you know John would never get impatient with. Even he knows better than to do that and frankly he’s nicest to even if he was he wouldn’t show it. 

He loves you. 

Karkat loves you. 

They both love you.

It’s so much.

It’s too much.

Your love for them and their love for you is too much. 

You don’t stop crying for two hours and even when you do stop its more from a lack of liquid to shed than it is actual calmness. John, knowing you’re in capable hands with Karkat, leaves to get you some apple juice from the fridge. He returns a moment later and hands it to you. You take it and sniffle as you drink it thankfully. He wraps himself around you again and Karkat shushes you one last time as you lean forward to snuggle and nuzzle them both. 

You three lay like that for a little while longer, just enjoying each other’s warmth and company. 

But of course it doesn’t last. 

They still need their answers after all. 

“Dave…” John says slowly. “Yeah yeah sorry.” “Don’t apologize fucknut. You have nothing to be fucking sorry for.” You can’t help but smile and chuckle just a bit at Karkat’s grumbled words and curses. It’s comforting to know nothing's changed. Your outburst didn’t ruin anything like Bro had always taught you emotions would. They still loved you. If anything your tears had only solidified that. Made you all closer. As friends and as lovers. “Yeah ok. Just let me hug you guys for just a bit longer.”

They allow this and let you take your time to regather yourself. Pick up the pieces and put them back together until you’re whole again. Then they give you time to gather your thoughts after you break away from their arms, watching you patiently. They know that this time you won’t just stall or dodge it. Not after something like that. And so they give you your time and don’t rush or push you into anything.

That you will forever be grateful to them for. 

Eventually you take a deep breath, let it out, and speak. “My oldest brother, Bro, he… abused me and Dirk. He would jump us in the halls for strifes or make us go up onto the roof in the Texan heat to fight him and it was always with the swords we had to carry around all the time just because no time was safe from him. I even slept with that thing sometimes. A lot of the time. Sometimes he’d send us flying down the hundreds of stairs of the apartment building to the bottom floor. He never helped us with our injuries. Dirk always had to take care of mine until I learned to do it myself. I shouldn’t know how to take care of a sword wound on my back but I do. He always saw the fights and our loses as our fault. Never said it, never said anything really, but his looks were more than enough to tell us what we needed to know. Any emotions shown were punished harshly via a strife or in some other manner. Usually taking food and water from us. And he would use his creepy puppets to torture us. Mainly me. I got nightmares all the time from those things. Especially Cal.” You shiver just from saying that damn thing’s name. “Those eyes pierce into your very soul and he left him everywhere and was constantly making him move faster than the eye could see. It was freaky. You could think you were completely alone and then poof Cal’s on your shoulder and Bro’s standing above you with his sword drawn to strife. And if you don’t react quick enough and get your sword out too to block him then not even god can help you.”

Your boyfriends sit there in shock as they listen to you ramble about the various ways Bro physically, mentally, and emotionally abused and tortured you for so many years. Their eyes are wide and jaws open almost to the floor and you can’t help but curl up more with each word you say. You know they don’t mean it, that they think Bro is the freak for doing all that to you, but you can’t help but think they think you are the freak. You took it for years and told nobody. And when you did tell someone after thirteen years you didn’t believe what they said about it until two years afterward and even then you did nothing and said nothing. Even now you’ve kept it hidden. The abuse formed some of who you are now even if it was better if it hadn’t happened and now they were appalled by it. By you. 

You began to tear up again as your words stuttered out and died on your lips. 

Then suddenly you had arms around you and on your face again and everything was better. 

Everything was ok. 

They were here and they loved you.

They still loved you.

They would always love you.

No matter what. 

And you would love them back forever.


End file.
